The ABCs of Expo West

Jeff Klineman

Monica Watrous Mar. 4, 2024 at 9:41 AM

Like every tribe developing its own spin on the native language of the land, the natural food and beverage business has developed an accent all its own, and as one of the great cultural gatherings of that tribe, Natural Products Expo West serves as a clearinghouse for that terminology. But if you want to speak Expo fluently, first you’ve got to learn the alphabet. Fortunately, we’ve compiled this handy set of definitions for you, down to the letter.

A is for Anaheim, population: 350,365 (plus an extra 100,000 for one week in March).

B is for Booth, the launch pad, intermediate rest stop, terminal point and compass guide on which all Expo-ditions rely. The home base for your brand and team, the place you hang out waiting for your intern to return with the Jimmy John’s, and the gaping hole that swallows your marketing budget for the year.

C is for Carlotta Mast, the person who makes it all run. She’ll be everywhere, somehow, at every meeting and seminar, while simultaneously appearing at your booth and handing out awards in disparate places. How does she do it? Is it AI or adaptogens? Either way, mad respect.

D is for “differentiation” – that slippery term for a product whose meanings can range from either “highly innovative” or “the exact same thing as everyone else, only you decide that since you thought of it, it’s really different.”

E is for Endless: Aisles. Samples. People. Security checks. Number of times you hear “How’s your show going?”

F is for functionality, the second-most important attribute of all products behind “differentiated.” What does it mean? We don’t really know, but we think it involves caffeine. And adaptogens.

G is for the Grand Hyatt, which, for a brief period in March, becomes the home of the sleaziest, most expensive, most crowded bar in all of Orange County.

H is for hand sanitizer. Use it often.

I is for ibuprofen; given the hangovers, jet lag and achy feet at this show, it’s your best friend and prime currency. Bring enough of it and you’ll be able to trade it for anything: power cords. Ice. Interns.

J is for John Wayne, the airport you wanted to fly into.

K is for Katella Avenue, which, combined with its North-South companion Harbor Boulevard, has the mind-boggling ability to take a simple city block and make it stretch for seven miles, and to take the mini-mall you just passed and put it four blocks in your future, all as you search for a decent taco.

L is for LAX, the airport you usually have to fly into even though you’d rather be at John Wayne.

M is for Morton’s, one of the many off-site, steak-based networking hubs that, ironically, make millions providing food and wine to vegetarians and their investment bankers during the week.

N is for nighttime, that brief period between early cocktails and “oh my god it’s 4 a.m. and I’m supposed to open the booth tomorrow.”

O is for outside, that place where there’s supposedly nice California weather.

P is for podcast. We have several (CPG Week, Taste Radio and Community Call)! Make sure you listen while walking the floor!

Q is for QR code, a preferred alternative to reams of sell sheets retail buyers have to haul back to the home office. Also, do you mind if I scan your badge?

R is for recall. As in “I can’t recall your name, although I’ve been introduced to you numerous times, I used to work for you, and we were even briefly married by Errol Schweizer in an after-hours ceremony.”

S is for scurvy, which is surprisingly easy to get at an event centered on healthy alternatives to mainstream products – simply put, there’s a real lack of fresh foods. Pea protein bars and extra nitro lattes aren’t going to ward it off, kids; try eating one of the $4 oranges available at the Grand Hyatt Starbucks.

T is for taste, a quality that tends to vary with most of the functionality of the things you’ll try, but remains the single-most important aspect of any sample offered at the show. If it isn’t good, it isn’t selling, no matter how cute your booth is.

U is for the Uber line in front of the Marriott, an hours-long wait for a ride to the dinner reservation you will probably miss but that’s a necessity because you just can’t walk another mile.

V is for valuation, which, for your company, is going nowhere because you’re still in the Uber line and not getting your networking on at Morton’s.

W is for Wi-Fi. Don’t count on it. Also, can anyone get a cell signal in here?

X is for (product) x-change. A skilled practitioner can start with a bag of kelp chips and some beet hummus and eventually end up with six t-shirts, the rights to a better booth slot next year, and, most importantly, a bottle of vodka that can be broken out for valued guests or to get you through the slow times.

Y is for yoga, the unofficial team sport of Expo West. Give it a try, because there’s no room for Ultimate Frisbee.

Z is for zero. As in zero-waste sampling, a new pilot program rolling out at the organic tent, the number of authors of this alphabet who will be invited back to Expo next year, and also the percent likelihood you’ve used enough hand sanitizer.

Read more: Nosh’s Unofficial Guide to Expo West

Thanks for reading! Our five-part guide hopefully helps you survive Expo West, with strategies for making the most of the event, tips for maintaining your health, and enough chuckles to keep you sane. Click the links below to read more.